10 Reasons Not to Vote

There are just a few days left until election day and If you’re like me, you are fed up with wall to wall political ads touting sketchy facts, TV pundits who parse every gesture and word uttered by candidates and the intense mudslinging that is being flung by both political parties. I live in North Carolina which until about a week ago was considered a swing state.

Our home has been inundated with robocalls and campaign staffer calls from both parties. It’s gotten so bad we’ve had to turn off the ringer on our landline. Earlier this week I finally went out and voted early. The wait wasn’t too bad, about twenty minutes, and I can now avoid the mad dash on election day.

Even though I’ve voted already, I realize there are probably a few people out there still on the fence about whether to vote or not. To help you make up your mind, here are ten perfectly good excuses to sit out this election cycle:

1. You don’t need government because you’ve decided to become one of those survivalists who live off the grid without electricity, hunting and gathering your own food.
2. You don’t care that the next president may appoint up to three Supreme Court justices.
3. You believe there is a difference between rape and “legitimate” rape and that women’s bodies have a way of “shutting down” possible pregnancy.
4. You don’t care that men who’ve never experienced a menstrual cramp let alone been pregnant or give birth can legislate trans-vaginal ultrasounds, contraception and basically anything having to do with women’s bodies.
5. You think that Congress is actually doing a great job and that the 10% approval rating pundits keep talking about is just a made up “statistic” by the Lamestream media.
6. You’ve decided to relocate your family to India or China for the job opportunities and the excellent math and science education for your kids.
7. You believe the earth is only 9,000 years old and that climate change science is part of a vast left-wing conspiracy to keep us all from gassing up our SUVs.
8. You think “those people” (and you know who “they” are) are “takers” only out to get as much food stamps, welfare and free stuff as they can.
9. You have to fly to Switzerland to check on the money you squirreled away in your Swiss bank account during the Great Recession.
10. You are protesting the unfairness of the Electoral College.