“I feel like crap. What I need is a really hot guy to lust after me. I’m not interested in cheating. I just want to know that some seriously good looking guy has the hots for me.” I’m talking to a good friend of mine catching up on life, career and the kids. Are you kidding? I tell her, you are one of the most fabulous women I know. And she is. She is beautiful with a successful international career, handsome husband, great kids and an innate sense of style that is the envy of most women. She then told me about the plastic surgery she was planning to have – the Mommy Rejuvenation (breast augmentation, tummy tuck, liposuction). You don’t need it I tell her. Just get a trainer, regular massages and carve out more time for yourself and you’ll find your mojo in no time. I don’t think she bought it and I know how she feels.
Some days I feel more frazzled than bombshell. Case in point, I was at Target a few weeks ago with D2. It was a Saturday and I had dashed out for a quick errand. I was wearing workout gear, no make up and had a diaper bag slung across my body. I pass a mirror and WHOA! I literally did a double take. Who was that woman with the bags under her eyes and the tired complexion? I seriously didn’t recognize myself and had a bit of a panic attack. Of course I want to look good for my husband but I also want to look good for me. I want to be the “hot” mom not the schulubby mom but life gets in the way.
Five years ago I don’t think I would have truly understood where my friend was coming from but as mother now I think I do. You see back then I was a single career girl who loved to get dressed up and go out on the town – loved it. Back then I never stepped foot outside of the house without makeup and a cute outfit. My theory is that as single women we dress to attract the opposite sex. The name of the game is mating and we strive to turn heads every time we walk out the door. After you get married your priorities change. Time for yourself slowly gets winnowed away by work, home obligations and eventually motherhood. Since I’ve become a mother – now 19 months ago – I often struggle with my own body image. I’ve asked my self the question: Can you still be sexy after you become a mother? I think the answer is yes but it requires a different state of mind.
So here’s my Rx for cultivating my inner bombshell:
So how about it? Am I off base for wanting to cultivate my inner bombshell? Are motherhood and sexiness mutually exclusive?